Blogging The Oscars


I am having the weirdest night. Firefox — a program that almost never crashes — has crashed on me FOUR TIMES as I’ve tried to compose this. Here’s hoping we make it through this time.

Okay. Where was I?

I considered posting this on the Diary section of The Engine as I thought it would be fun if people could contribute as the night progressed, but The Engine isn’t the WEF; I still feel like a bit of an outsider over there and I’m not sure I have a good sense of what would fly. So here we go…

  • Lucy Liu is ten kinds of charming. I feel like I need more Lucy Liu in my life;
  • Patricia Field is apparently an old dude. That makes a certain kind of sense, I suppose, I just didn’t know;
  • Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet both look stunning. What’s this about Blanchett playing Bob Dylan…?
  • Was that Kristen Dunst in the frumpy gray frock? What’s with that girl? She’s so pretty. Why does she insist on looking like an old lady?
  • When did I become such a Jewish mother?
  • (In fairness, I only glimpsed the dress. I might not be as bad as I think. I bet it is though. She seems to have a thing for sacks.)
  • I think Ellen’s doing a fine job thus far. Would it have killed her to have worn a tie, though? I mean, if you’re going to wear a suit, wear a tux. And do it up. It’s the Oscars;
  • Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig: wow. They’re so… ideal. I wonder if they’re real or if I’m dreaming them;
  • Aw. I loved Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine and I didn’t see Dreamgirls, but I’m a little bummed for Eddie Murphy. I had my fingers crossed for him;
  • Who struck you as more joyless: Maggie Gyllenhaal or Ben Affleck?
  • Oh holy crap! Baldy is Jack Nicholson! I wondered why they kept cutting back to that guy;
  • I like Wes Anderson. The American Express campaign amuses me;
  • Milena Canonero somehow managed to pull off that weird Col. Sanders thing;
  • Tom Cruise. Ptooie. (Is that how you spell spitting? That man makes me want to spit.)
  • Oooh! Ellen’s white suit! Now we’re talking;
  • Oh, I heart Robert Downey, Jr. And sober? That man’s hot. The gray hair works for him. He was always cute — I have a mortifying soft spot for Heart and Souls — but now? Damn;
  • Abhay, Dave and Ivan are blogging the Oscars over on the NYC Mech board. I’m not yet finished reading the first page, but thus far I disagree with Abhay on EVERYTHING, which is peculiar, as I have it in my mind that we generally agree. Apparently? Not so much;
  • I suspect this is an unpopular opinion, but I really like the weird shadow dance troupe;
  • Oh, I love when they Brill cream Clooney’s hair! Le sigh;
  • Jennifer Hudson won. Yipee. I mean… I’m sure she’s lovely. But. Still;
  • Wow. I forgot how young Clint Eastwood used to be;
  • Is that Celine Dion? Hellooooo fast-forward;
  • Eastwood speaks Italian?? Oh, damn;
  • “Volver”-ine…? That’s awful;
  • Maybe Dunst’s dress isn’t as bad as I thought… no… no, it is;
  • WOW! But Jennifer Lopez’s dress is much, much worse! Neat!
  • The Dreamgirls warble off… Where’s that remote?
  • Wait, who’s the Dreamgirl that’s not Beyonce or Hudson?  She’s gorgeous!
  • HA HA HA HA Tivo switched over to Scrubs.  I missed the end of the Oscars.
  • Goodnight.


  • jenblossom says:

    Cate and Kate look lovely, but my favorite gown of the night so far is Rachel Weisz. Stunning silhouette on her, the color was gorgeous with her skin and set off her red lips. Classy and elegant. Also, I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.

  • T2 says:

    The shadow dance troupe is totally cool.

  • Drew says:

    Helen Mirren has owned me since The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.

  • kellysue says:

    You are a man of taste and breeding, Drew Bell.

    (You’re a keeper too, Terry.)

  • T2 says:

    Susan panted over Mr. Clooney and I panted over Ms. Mirren.

    And the unknown Dreamgirl person. “Wow.” I am quoting Susan. Susan was apparently reading my mind.

  • Drew says:

    KS: It confuses Ashley sometimes.

    ALSO: I know what you mean about The Engine. Though I read it way more than I should, I still feel like I’m missing the joke in a lot of those threads. And if it’s not WEF in-jokes that make me feel that way, then I have no idea what it is.

  • T2 says:

    Drew: Are we nothing more than internet rubes? If so, I wear it proudly.

  • kellysue says:

    //Drew: Are we nothing more than internet rubes? If so, I wear it proudly.//

    No, it’s not like that. Everyone over there is very gracious, it’s not like there’s a board shorthand that’s exclusive or anything.

  • Theron says:

    Cate Blanchett is one of several actors playing Bob Dylan in Todd Haynes’ new movie, “I’m Not There.” Also playing Dylan (or, actually, different aspects of Dylan) are Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, and Richard Gere, among others.

    This seems similar to what the other Todd (Solondz) did in “Palindromes” a couple of years ago. What is it with Todds?

    My wife also thinks Downey is hot. And Ms. Mirren – wow!

  • hillary says:

    oh man I heart Robert Downey, Jr. too. I don’t know what it is either but I have a weakness for him. When he was having all those troubles it actually made me sad.

    Kirsten dunst is a very pretty girl she needs to have a friend who will tell her when she look pooey.

    tom cruise make me want to kick something. Its so none of my business but when he said that him and nicole broke up a week before they did so he wouldnt have to pay alimony but in reality she got pregnant after that day and then lost the bebe :( ugh. I know why is my business but he is skeevy,

    i don’t get the jennifer hudson hoopla.

    do you watch ugly betty? lucy liu was soo cute on that with her new hair. (its online if you don’t watch and want to see.

  • T2 says:

    //No, it’s not like that. Everyone over there is very gracious, it’s not like there’s a board shorthand that’s exclusive or anything.//

    You are absolutely right. I retract my ill-stated statement.

    I did find out however, I am woefully under-read in many areas. So many books, so much media, so little time.

  • E. Bess says:

    I cannot wait – I mean, CANNOT WAIT – for Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes.

    Cannot. Wait.

    Salivating in a way that is ridiculous.

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